What Is Sex Therapy Actually Like?
Despite what people may think, if you have sex, have had sex, want to have sex, or think about sex, it’s likely you could benefit from sex therapy. In other words, sex therapy isn’t “just” for those experiencing sexual dysfunction, mental blocks, or low libido issues — just like how psychotherapy isn’t only beneficial for those diagnosed with mental health issues. Maybe you have some internalized shame you’d like to address, maybe you have some kinks you want to explore, or maybe you just want a safe space to talk — and only talk, since sex therapy does not involve touching in any way. Whatever the case may be, sex therapy can offer solutions to all those reasons and more.
Sex therapy is a type of therapy that’s completely focused on sex and sexuality, says Anna Chau, LMFT, a sex therapist in San Francisco who is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). “Sex therapy is a safe, confidential space where folks are able to come in and really explore their own identities, sexualities, kinks, and fetishes,” she explains. It’s designed for anyone interested in a comfortable, judgment-free environment to talk and learn about all things sex. Whether you’re considering sex therapy or you’re just learning about it for the first time, here’s your primer on what sex therapy is and why you might want to try it for yourself.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a type of talk-based therapy (yup, only talking, no touching) that focuses on sex, sexuality, and anything that impacts sexual satisfaction and comfort. In sex therapy, Chau explains, you’ll verbally explore your habits and preferences around sex, as well as your own sexuality and identity. That includes digging into the many factors that impact your relationship to sex, like your upbringing, culture, race, and prior education about sex. According to Chau, sex therapy will help you address questions like:
- What are your desires?
- What things have you thought about wanting to engage in or share with a partner but have felt too ashamed to try?
- What is preventing you from having great sex?
Despite how often people think about sex, Chau explains, “we don’t have a space to really talk about it in a nonjudgmental, safe way.” Many of us lack the tools to “know how to have pleasure, to feel desired, to feel good within our own bodies,” she adds. “What sex therapy is really about is providing you with the tools and the safe space to identify and figure out what works for you.”